Leadership Losses
Many facets of leadership focus on building things like forming the right team with the right skills or learning how to effectively coach someone to get to the next level or creating a vision that a team can get behind. I had the pleasure of attending a keynote by Mark Hunter at the 2018 District 53 Toastmasters Spring Conference in Massachusetts. His perspective on how values, loss, and discernment mold our leadership style was in most ways simple, but one particular aspect of his presentation led me to think more on the subject of loss in leadership. While loss is a consistent part of the business of leadership, there aren’t many people that I believe handle all aspects equally well. There is one skillset that I look for in a leader that quickly tells me if they are “great” or not: How do you react to loss?
1. Voluntary Attrition
No one wants to hear that their star worker wants pursue a role outside the team, but it’s a looming reality that no matter how many opportunities you give people, some will still want to look beyond the team. Perhaps you have a chance to “course-correct” and are able to find a way to fulfill their needs without them leaving, but inevitably there will be a day when your hands are tied and you can’t give the person what they are looking for. Before you burn a bridge (you never know when someone that works for you may become a hiring manager or be able to connect you to a new opportunity), treat them how you would want to be treated in that scenario. Reinforce that you enjoyed working with them, look at how this new opportunity will build a new skillset for them, and vow to reconnect with them in the future. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side and there is always a chance that they might land back on your team in the future – with a more diverse experience that you could leverage.
2. Headcount Reductions
Whether in your control or not, if you have been a leader long enough, you’ve seen good times (hiring) and you’ve seen bad (layoffs). While each layoff is different, how you act as a leader can have a drastic effect on the experience of the person being affected. While there are many variables, especially based on the person and the conditions for why they vs their role are being eliminated, if you truly feel that they have been an asset for you – flex your network. Push on it to see if anyone you know is hiring and try to get them an interview if you think they’d make a great candidate. Give them a genuine recommendation on LinkedIn or volunteer to be on their references list.
Make sure that through the whole process that you connect with them to gauge if they need anything from you. Be open and direct about what you realistically can do and don’t inflate their hopes if you are coming up with dead ends or do not have the capacity to follow through on a request. Ultimately, make sure that the help you are trying to give is matched with what they want to ensure you are having the desired impact on the person and their experience. Some people approach their manager with resentment no matter the conditions and all your assistance will be unwelcome.
3. Career Progression
When you move onwards and upwards in your career, there will inevitably be things you leave behind that you have built and new leaders coming in will change. It is almost never how you had envisioned it, but you can’t expect to fully be all-in on your new role until you “give up” on what you walked away from. In some cases, they may have been true passion projects that ultimately led you to the new opportunity and that makes it even harder to leave behind as it feels like part of your legacy. It’s also hard to admit to yourself that sometimes you outgrow a role, especially if it is part of an ‘extracurricular’ activity that you simply have outgrown. Whether you have learned everything you can from the role or you are actively taking on bigger and better things to further expand your skillsets, letting go and transferring the role to someone else can be difficult.
Questions flit through your mind; Will the next leader do things differently/wrong?; Is there a chance that no one steps up like I did?; Will it cease to exist if I stop participating or leading it? Coming to terms with the fact that any of these questions can result in an astounding “yes” can be heart-wrenching, but being selfish for your own growth is important. If you don’t look out for yourself and your time and your energy, no one else is. You can do your best to set the initiative up for success by advising the new leader what you’ve done or creating documentation/instructions for someone incoming to pick it up where you left off, but to truly breakaway is to free yourself up for a better opportunity.
Early in my career, I took on the challenge with another leader of starting a partnership with the local Habitat for Humanity organization and the women’s network at our company. We became good friends and co-led the initiative for two years when she left to pursue other endeavors and I acquired a new co-lead. We had worked together for two years before I realized that in order for me to pursue bigger opportunities, I had to let something go. I had learned all I needed to from co-leading the partnership and that there was no evolution to the partnership that would have encouraged me to develop new skills. My co-lead at the time understood why I was moving on and while I tried finding a replacement, it ended up being a futile effort (the people I tapped on left the company).
The next year, the event was not as successful as in years prior despite the leader doing everything the same as we had done the year prior. I was asked to weigh in on what had happened and I started digging – pulling up all the volunteers and attendance lists and comparing them not just year to year, but also with who was still with the company. The results I found told a story of fewer and fewer veteran volunteers (people who routinely attended the build events) and more temporary personnel (interns, co-ops, leadership program participants). While this general change in makeup was ultimately affected by the conditions of the corporate environment, I reiterated that the same drop in participation and interest would have happened irrespective of who was leading it. Despite being backed with the numbers, it was still hard to watch an event that was flourishing when I led it struggle under different leadership – even though I know that it had nothing to do with the leader and everything to do with an evolving volunteer base. It didn’t make it any easier to cope with and it didn’t make it any less difficult to resist falling back into helping the leader out.
Loss of any kind is never easy and it is especially hard if you have to watch an event that you’ve led for years become less and less successful or watch someone thrive with another team or company when you feel they could have been thriving on your team instead. The real repercussions of not handling voluntary attrition or headcount reduction well is that in addition to never knowing when you might need their connections for your own career, the team that remains watches and talks about how you handled or mishandled situations. If you start talking to someone about their lack of loyalty or dedication or patience when they tell you that they are seeking outside opportunities, you can bet that they have told their peers how you reacted and that next time you won’t be getting a heads up – you will be getting their two-week notice. These negative impressions, once they are formed and spread throughout the team, are very hard to change, even if you have. Even if you don’t agree with their why, it is not up to you to tell them what to do, it is their choice. Your reaction in these high stress situations determines how the rest of the team perceives you forever. Make sure that it’s a favorable impression that will enable you to broaden your network in the years to follow.
